Big apologies for my recent blogging vacation. For those of you that don't already know, I recently accepted a new & exciting job that allows me to work 100% from home, yet still travel into NYC a few times a week. And as anyone who's ever interviewed for a job understands, your life quickly becomes overwhelmingly consumed with resumes, head hunters, meetings & prep work as you try to juggle your current job while also looking for a new one. Oh yeah, and I had to feed a baby, vacuum a house, drive a nanny around, catch a bus, make dinner, make bottles and watch the View on DVR. Needless to say, the last few weeks have been crazytown, & I'm so glad the madness is behind me. I have a wonderful new adventure ahead, and I can again let my creative blogging juices flow before all hell breaks lose with the new gig.
So what will I be doing, you ask? I'm sure you're not surprised to hear this, but I had to turn down numerous modeling gigs as well as being cast as Bethenny's new BFF on her latest Bravo show, so instead, I will be the new Regional Manager for a start-up website called Plum District. Our company offers daily deals to moms in 20 cities across the US, & I'll be responsible for growing subscribers in NYC. I'm thrilled for the opportunity for many reasons; great new company, gaining managerial & marketing experience, an exciting sell, flexibility, a mom-focused company and the chance to spend significantly more time with Isabel. It's like the cherry on top!
Many of you are well aware of the struggles I've experienced over the last months, re-entering the working world as a new mom. It wasn't that I didn't want to work, I just didn't want to leave Isabel. It didn't seem fair that I birthed this beautiful baby and then had to leave her every day while paying someone else to be with her. I'd be at work and all I wanted to do was see her, play with her, talk with her or about her. I'm sure my co-workers wanted to sufficate me with a baby blanket everytime I shared another boring Isabel story or picture. Instead of things getting easier, as everyone said it would, each day seemed to bring more resentment, more questioning of myself, more stress and emotions that I had hoped would eventually go away. It was as though I was going through post-pardum 4 months after giving birth.
What's interesting to me is how different the work experience is from one new mom to the next. I actually found myself hoping I'd meet another mother struggling as much as me. She made me feel normal, could relate and didn't make me feel badly for wanting to be with Isabel so much. I recently asked a fellow 1st time mom just returning to work after having twins "So....has it been hard?" I couldn't wait to have her cry on my shoulder, hear her horror stories, but instead she answered, "It's actually not so bad." Um, whatttttttttttt?! I almost called a therapist right then & there. What was wrong with me? Why wasn't it not so bad for me too?
Conclusion...I love my daughter. I love being a mom. I love seeing every moment. I love being a part of her life. I also love working, but I need a job that loves that I love being a mom too. I also need to find "me" again. Even if it's finding the new mommy-me, by being close to home I can at least give myself a few quality minutes each day, instead of every second being about everyone else. So does that mean other moms who yearn to work aren't in love with their child too? Of course not!!! It means they are better moms & better women by having a schedule, having time away and having a well-balanced life. And just like every baby is different, every mother is too and what works from one, doesn't always work for another. We all have to do what's best from us & our families, and I've decided this opportunity is exactly what the Agosto's need.
Like any new job or experience, I certainly have fears and hesitations. It's hard to walk away from my wonderful teammates, a comfort level with what I do, and from being in Manhattan everyday. But being able to feed Isabel breakfast before heading into our home office certainly does have its perks! I've fallen in love with Isabel & I hope to fall in love with Plum District and this next chapter of our lives. Onward & upward!!
