Elmo

Once upon a time, there was a young lady without children named Karyn. Karyn lived in a magical world of beer, boys & bars, and she was under a very deep spell where she thought being a parent was easy. While in that magical world, Karyn decided that she would NEVERRRRRRR let her future well-behaved, non-whining and always sedate children watch any of those annoying Nick Jr & Disney Channel television shows that so many other un-attentive, pathetic parents used as  babysitters for their kids. She also swore up & down that Barney, Elmo and Dora were 3 characters her children would never encounter until he/she was old enough to have their own Facebook page.


Karyn has since left that magic world of bars & boys. She now lives in the Kingdom of Kids, where drinking means tasting the 2 day old milk in the sippy cup found under the couch, just to see if it might be safe to use. In Karyn's new world, she will spend endless hours searching YouTube for even a remnant of an Elmo clip her child has yet to see. "All of these videos are under a minute long? That's! Not! Good! Enough!" she yells in frustrating, realizing that any YouTube under 3 minutes won't buy her enough time to pee, let alone Facebook & fold laundry. The Elmo search continues cause in the real world (the one without bars & boys), Karyn will do just about anything if it means 15 minutes of quiet and one happy, Elmo loving 18 month old. Plus, Karyn is a mush and  still thinks it's kinda cute to hear "ELL-MOEEE" repeated with such great love and excitement by her child 74 times a day.


Karyn also told herself she'd NEVERRRRRR dress her son and/or daughter in any clothing that remotely referenced, looked like or mentioned a Disney or Sesame Street character. While Karyn still holds very, very, very firm to that stance, there has been an instance of caving, as her not-yet-17-month old searched from dresser draw to dresser draw in hopes of finding her beloved Elmo shirt. And Karyn was amazed to see how popular Isabel quickly became when the infamous Elmo shirt made a guest appearance at toddler gym class. "Elmo!!! Elmo!!" the other kids screamed and pointed as Isabel strutted around, chest out, oh-so-proud of the smiling red character on her belly that everyone seemed to love. 


Many "I'll nevers" quickly morph into "Where is that damn Elmo DVD???!!!" once you enter the Kingdom of Kids. Karyn is still holding strong to a no Barney policy, that is, until Isabel has a nervous breakdown in the Target checkout and the closet thing to shutting her up is a Barney coloring book and a six pack of wine coolers for Karyn. Oh the things we do for love (Up yours, Elmo).

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