Belly

Who in their right mind posts pictures like these online? I mean, we all know what a balloon looks like when it goes from inflated to deflated, so we certainly can create our own mental image of what a post-prego body looks like. Do we REALLY need to see yours, Susan from Ohio, all stretched, saggy and weirdly tattooed? Your post-baby bellies give me the post-baby blues.

Post-Baby Bellies We DIDN'T Need to See

I'd love to see these women in person, especially the ones that look really bad, and ask them what the H-E-double-hockey-sticks they were thinking. I mean, my stomach's been there. Who am I fooling, it's still there, but I'm 100% not running home after work to snap pics of my naked new mom-bod for all the BabyCenter world to see. I'm critical of my fully dressed pics, for Pete's sake (I haven't used the term "for Pete's sake" in my 33 years of existence, but it felt good, not gonna lie)!

Joe took some not-so-pretty-yet-fully-dressed w/child pics of me, and I wouldn't go flaunting those around. He was also oh-so-kind to capture some really impressive due-in-3-weeks-swollen-like-a-pregnant-cow bathing suit pics too. If you ever feel the need to blackmail me, those will do the trick. Even my "I just pushed a baby out of my vagina" hospital pics will never, ever, be shared and hopefully never surface again. (until I'm considering having another child & need a reason not to...please remind me to look at those photos). These super women who manage to look good after pushing, panting and almost blowing their faces off their bodies deserve some major props. I just don't get it. Sometimes I look bad 30 minutes after applying make-up, let alone after birthing a watermelon.

After Isabel was born, I looked like a really fat teen mom; pimply, broken out skin & from the size of my face, I apparently was given 14 bags of saline pre-Isabel's birth. Of course, I also made the bright decision to NOT shower on the day I went into labor, so my hair was far from Pantene fresh. Anyway, you get the picture which is exactly WHY I don't feel the need to share these or any other 3-month-after-labor pictures. So thanks again, Susan from Ohio, for those frightening yet encouraging pictures. I've been doing sit-ups since I woke up this morning. Thanks. A. Lot.

 The scene of the bathing suit picture taking crime...my kiddie pool.