Suri

At one time, I had a very strange fascination with Tom, Katie & Suri Cruise, particularly during his "I jump on furniture" phase. Recently, I could care less about their weird Scientology ways or Katie's blank, robotic gaze & failing career. But I am and always will be intrigued by their non-traditional / cult upbringing of Suri. From heels to a pacifier, this kid is certainly not your typical almost 5 year old. A few weeks ago she was caught having her after dinner drink in a Playtex baby bottle and 10 minutes later, was spending quality time with her iPad (most likely playing Angry Birds, I assume). I'm all for letting a kid be a kid and strongly believe society is pushing our children to be grown-ups way too fast, BUT how do you go from allowing your toddler to choose her own designer wardrobe and march around Manhattan wearing pumps, yet she still sucks on a paci in the middle of day?? I'm confused. Of course, if my husband controlled my every move while dating men behind my back (allegedly...don't sue me, Tommy C), I'd probably give in to my child's every demand too.


And while I'm on the bash-Suri-Cruise bandwagon, it really, really, really, really, really annoys me that this celeb-u-tot always looks like she's dressed for summer in the middle of winter. Last week, the NY Post had pics of Tom & Suri frolicking around NYC, with Suri, as always, sporting bare legs and an open coat. If you can afford to buy your child expensive clothing, why not invest in pants & a cute winter hat. And instead of simply dressing her in your standard winter attire, they opt for carrying her around wrapped in a blanket (which still probably costs more than all of my winter coats combined). Do they swaddle her at night too? Still confused.


Apologies for the ranting & raving. Belive me, that's way more time & words than I ever intended dedicating to the Cruises, but I couldn't let this latest oddity pass on by without some sort of a comment. Now back to stalking Charlie Sheen & Lindsay Lohan.

This "sucks."

It's cold, where's my blanket.

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6 Hours

Last week, I took my first overnight trip away from Isabel. Joe was on his own to bathe, feed, and keep Isabel alive & happy for 3 days. You'd think, as mental & controlling as I am, that being away would result in one constant panic attack after another, yet just the opposite happened. I was thrilled to be away for many reasons, including:

1. I needed me time. I've truly come to understand what this whole "me time" thing is all about. My "me" meter was at zero, and I needed a few days of "All About Karyn" time or I was either going to lose my mind or stab someone, so it was best that I left town when I did & as quickly as possible.

2. Joe and Isabel needed quality father/daughter time. Joe is an amazing dad; very hands on, 100% capable of doing everything I do (minus breastfeeding, though he'd do it for the extra calorie burn if he could), and totally in love with Isabel. That being said, I typically am the one home at bedtime, and Joe also leaves very early in the morning, so I think it was good for both him & Isabel to see that they can survive without mom. She went to sleep without me, he did the AM prep without me, and we all lived to talk about. High five.

3. Most importantly, I needed 6 straight hours where NO ONE could talk to me, ask me a question, spit up on me or need a diaper changed (besides myself), and I got just that with my San Fran flight. Now, for those of you who really know me, you all are aware of how much I HATTTTEEEEEE to fly. I dislike planes so much that I'd eat something weird, give up Facebook, maybe I'd even become a Republican if it meant I could get to somewhere tropical or international in a limited # of hours without having to fly. So are you know fulling understanding how badly I needed quiet time?  Me, an US Weekly, peanut M&M's, Adele's latest album, my iPad with (2) lame chick flicks that Joe would totally have ruined if we watched them together, and a handful of Klonopin. Crazy-drugs & my two-winged metal death trap, take me away!!! 

I was so happy & relaxed by the time I got home to Jersey, you would have thought I'd just spent a week at the spa. Instead, I was flying & working but you could have fooled me. Oh, and I got to apply makeup AND blow dry my hair without worrying about waking a baby or changing a diaper with one hand, lining my eyelids with the other. I also discovered that Joe is an even more awesome dad than I thought and makes going away very easy. I realized that our house does survive without me, a truly great feeling. Most importantly, I can manage on my own for a few days without Isabel by my side. I can so see a girls weekend in my near future. Who's in?

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Sextuplets

Oprah continues to bring happiness to my DVR with her final season of tear jerking episodes. Last week, she got my eyes watering by introducing the world to the McGhee sextuplets. Oprah discovered them when their family picture went viral, and she invited them onto her Celine Dion / Twins celebration to surprise them with a $250,000 gift card to Walmart. Think of the formula & baby food that family can buy!? The touching part was the rags to riches story the couple has faced. High school sweethearts, both of their mothers were crackheads, fathers were deadbeats yet they fell in love, finished college & then struggled to start a happy family of their own. After going into pre-term labor with twins & losing both of the babies, their next attempt produced 6 healthy & happy (or happy when they're fed & dry) babies. Are you crying yet?

I'm sure Walmart will figure out a way to make $$$ off this somehow, but I was still impressed with their donation, none the same. In typical mom fashion, I immediately wondered if Walmart would still accept Huggies and Similiac coupons if you're shopping with that gift card. Just think how far you can stretch that money by simply adding in a few coupons?!

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Mini Me

As is typical when a baby is born, everyone wants to know "Who does he/she look like?" If you ask my mom, Isabel looks like me. If you ask Joe's mom, she looks like Joe. If you ask me, I think she's the perfect mix. Her crazy, thin hair...all Joe. Her white, pasty skin...all me. In the first few weeks after her birth, I saw a lot of myself in her and then she started to fill out and suddenly I would see Joe in her expressions and dramatic personality. Her eyes have always reminded me of Joe's, and you can almost guess what she's thinking by the expressions she makes with them. Just like her father, she'll never be able to lie to me...her eyes are the window to her soul. Ha!

Some of the most touching moments spent with Isabel are at night while I'm nursing her to sleep. We "talk", I make crazy sounds, she laughs, touches my face, grabs my hair, and we spend the last few minutes of the day bonding, mom/daughter style. Many times, as she's sucking away, I'll just stare at her face, trying to memorize every line, movement and expression on her face. Everyday she looks a bit different so I know that now's the time to cherish these moments cause they won't last for long. Sometimes she'll make an expression and I can so see myself. It isn't weird to think "Wow! She looks so much like Joe!" but it's so strange to suddenly see yourself in another person's face. It's still hard to believe she's mine, we created her, so it really hit homes when I recognize myself in her behavior and mannerisms.

In the last few weeks, I'd have to say she's looking more & more like me (particularly her chunky legs. Sorry, Isabel). Her full cheeks & lips are mine, and from the eyes up (including the cowlicks on the front on her head), she's all Joe. I'm still holding out hope that she'll have her father's beautifully dark skin, but I'm sadly predicting LOTS of SPF 50 in her future. And if she has me sparking personality, even better. Isabel should be thrilled...who doesn't want to be just like their mother?!

Joe, 6 months. I'm glad to see he's learned to love the camera (and can confirm he still makes that face on a regular basis)

Me, 6 months. I have no explanation as to why I'm on our kitchen counter, but from the look on my brother's face, I'm thinking he had something to do with it.

Isabel, 7 months

Me, 8 months. The American Academy of Pediatrics would definitely give a big thumbs DOWN to the safety standards of that walker.

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Fetus Friday

Fetuses, fetuses everywhere (or is the plural Fet-i??)!! Lets see who's knocked up this week:

Kate Hudson- It was only a matter of time before we'd see Goldie's girl flaunting that illegitimate baby bump, loud & proud. Her prego belly looks like my non-prego belly after Friday pizza & margarita night at the Agosto house, but who's bitter?

Martha Stewart- Well, not really Martha & her menopausal uterus, thank GOD, but her daughter, Alexis, who welcomed a baby girl, Jude, this week. I'm sure Martha will only allow the baby to call her "Mrs. Stewart" and by now, that kid probably has 400 monogrammed items spewn across her nursery. Little does baby Jude know, but she's heir to a fortune and that her grandma of hers is an ex-con. Isabel and Jude need an immediate playdate!

Zac Hanson- Ummmm, bop! Zac has welcomed his 2nd child into this world. He still looks like he's 15 and has the same shaggy hair as back in the day, so it kinda makes me feel dirty to think this little boy is reproducing. His wife looks like she could be his sister or aunt, but the kids are very cute. Whatever....he's been rich since since he was learning to tie his shoes, so who the heck am I make fun.

My friend Erica- Erica & Sal welcomed the adorable Keira in early January. Shout out to the V Family!! Early in Erica's pregnancy, she informed me that she disliked that I called Isabel a "fetus" while I was pregnant. I explained that technically "fetus" is the correct term to use when discussing an unborn baby, as confirmed by our good friend & medical expert Wikipedia:


A fetus (pronounced /ˈfiːtəs/; also spelled foetus, fœtus, faetus, or fætus, see below) is a developing mammal or other viviparous vertebrate after the embryonic stage and before birth.


Erica should have know better than to share her feelings with me cause this just gave me more reason to use the world fetus in front of my dear friend as often as possible, along with sometimes refering to Baby Girl V as "Fetus V." Amazingly, Erica still likes me which is a good thing, because now Isabel has a beautifl new friend name Keira! As you can see, Keira already has a thing for Tiffany. Good luck Sal.

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