Nanny Poppins


Back in my hay day, when I was still young, sexy, didn't have gray hair, hadn't pushed a baby out of my vagina & still looked good in short shorts (I've never looked good in short shorts, but I like to tell myself I did), I had a laundry list of stressful problems in my life. Homework, boys, finding booze, breaking curfew, boys, taping 90210, sports & boys. How did I ever survive?! Then I made the mistake of becoming an adult. And with the new found ability to buy & afford my own booze also came the added stress of a mortgage, job, commuting and the typical grown-up stuff. And yet, I have come to realize, that nothing is as stressful as finding good childcare for your new baby.

Want to give a type-a control freak with a minor obsessive compulsive disorder a panic attack every day? Make her go back to work, pass her brand spank'n new baby over to some random chick from down the street, & watch the nut-job squirm! 3 months, 2 nannies and about 10 nervous breakdowns later, I'm slowllllllyyyy letting go of the reigns (we're talking 97-year-old-running-a-marathon slow) & allowing others to have some control. Yes, I still pick out Isabel's clothes, still decide what food she'll eat the next day & mix up her bottles every night, but it makes me feel somewhat involved. Cut me some slack...the Garden State Mall wasn't built in a day people!!!

Thankfully, for the sake of my mental stability & our marriage, we found the wonderful Nanny Poppins (Nanny Poppins real identity will not be revealed for fear that either another family will steal her from us and/or she'll be sent back to her wonderful island in the sea. Just kidding, she's 100% a tax paying citizen). Nanny Poppins, or "new nanny" as I often like to call her, is a true diamond in the rough. It was a blessing in disguise when "old nanny" quit on the same day she started with us. I mean, who doesn't quit a job before they even begin? Once I got over my total "F-U Old Nanny" meltdown, it became my mission to find the perfect nanny. But does such a person exist? Has Walt Disney created a false impression of what a real nanny should be? Hells no...enter Nanny Poppins! Recommended to us through a friend's nanny, it was nanny-love at first site. She was kind, polite, gentle, easy going & with a Caribbean accent as thick as hers, there was no possible way she couldn't make a mean Pina Colada. She had me at both hello and "Isabel comes first, but when she sleeps, I'll clean, cook & do your laundry." I thought I'd died & gone to awesome nanny heaven!

The moral of this story, new mommies, is to keep the faith cause your Nanny Poppins is out there too. She may not fly with an umbrella or sing about spoonfuls of sugar, but she'll love your baby almost as much as you AND do the dishes. It's a win/win (that is, until Isabel has a thick Caribbean accent & drinks rum from her sippy cup). And as my wise friend Lindsay recently said, in the midst of her nanny search, "Ya gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find your nanny prince charming." Pucker up!


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