A soon-to-be new mom & friend of mine, who will remain nameless to protect her mom-to-be innocence, gave me quite a good laugh earlier today. She firmly declared "We're not going to use a pacifier." After I stopped laughing and composed myself, and I promised to give them 5 days post birth before everyone in her house, including her husband, 2 dogs & baby, will be sucking on a pacifier in hopes of once again finding inner peace. Mark my words, they will cross over the pacifier picket line faster than post-rehab Lindsay Lohan will take her first swig of vodka & sugar free Red Bull (I love Lindsay references).

I guess my questions for moms is this...why this paci hatred? We all know lactation consultants rule the breast feeding world, so is it their stern warnings of "nipple confusion" that make us fear the cute & wonderfully pleasing binky? Don't let me fool you...I too feared that Isabel would be a pacifier addict, sucking on that thing till she was 10, waking us up 20 times a night to re-insert it, costing us millions in eventual dental work. I swore up & down I'd only use it on "special occasions." Apparently her 1st special occasion happened approximately 4 hours after her birth, as I begged the nurse for her first magic sucker (with a side of Percocets for me). Low & behold, who walked into our room minutes after Isabel's first suckle on that precious little paci...our lactation consultant!! It would have been less mortifying if my parents caught me having sex. I panicked, made up all these lame excuses for why Isabel had the paci & in the end, swore I'd never use it again. That is, until she cried 25 minutes later.

The one(s) who will benefit most from the pacifier breakthrough??? Her nipples. You heard it hear first, folks. Nipples love pacifiers like a crackhead loves the crack pipe. Her nipples will cheer, they will shout, they will once again stand up, proud and strong, celebrating this new found freedom, jump for joy at the 20 minutes of sucking reprieve they will receive over those first few new baby months. My nipples and I are just becoming friends again, after surviving 6 straight months of physical torture. I hate the gym. My nipples hate my kid. We've all got our thing.

I've discovered that some moms even HIDE their kids paci obsession. "No, No. My kid neverrrrrrrr uses a pacifier" a friend of mine recently told me. Yet you've never, ever seen a grown woman panic like this one did when the supposed un-used & un-loved paci went missing. I'm pretty sure losing her baby would have been less upsetting. And honestly, in the end, who cares. Isabel doesn't like her pacifier but she sure LOVES sucking her thumb. So when she's 10 and still costing me millions in dental work, just like a paci baby, she and her paci friends can all go to the orthodontist together. 

So ladies, stick to burning your bras over burning your pacifiers. Your nipples, husband, dog, friends, baby & sanity will thank you for it. Happy sucking!

Isabel, 5 days old


Heather 1/24/2011  

I had Drake's paci clipped to him and got so many lovely looks. He gave it up on his own at 7 months so bite me people. Love these mom who make statements. I can't wait to see them give up breastfeeding, crack open a jar of processed baby food and turn on the TV for a break.

I should know - I am a reformed "I Will Never"

Heather 1/24/2011  

By the way - this is Heather Prince

Karyn Agosto 1/24/2011  

Love it Heather! Someone would be a very rich girl or boy if they would have bet money that I wouldn't stick to the 100's of "I Will Nevers" that came out of my mouth pre-baby. All of that went out the window once "I will never SLEEP" entered the room. You do what it takes to get by & stay sane...end of story!

Becca,  1/25/2011  

We loved the binkies at our house! I would put like 4 or 5 in the crib with them at night so they would hopefully always find one. And taking it away was not so hard. The binky brought peace...most of the time!

Julie,  1/25/2011  

I never cared either way on the binkies. I was actually psyched to be able to calm Jake down with it. He is almost 20 months and we are starting to get to the point where he needs to let it go! He talks a ton now and if he has the damn thing in his mouth I can't understand a word he is saying. I just don't want his speaking and language to slow down because he is busy grunting and pointing at what he wants with the binkie. With #2 on the way in may I am hoping to have his addiction cracked by then... mostly, so he doesn't continue to wake up at night whimpering/crying because he can't find it, but also so he doesn't rip the binkie out of his siblings mouth! We are starting to let it be a "crib thing" and make him put it in the crib when he gets up. He is great with it, but if he finds one hidden around the house or car... forget it! It's tough too on long car rides to not just let him have it so he is QUIET and HAPPY! ugh, I don't know. We'll see how this goes... by April he might be going cold turkey... OR he will be using one through high school!

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